My apologizes to anyone who I offend here, but God does not desire divorce. Not ever. Over the past year, I’ve had several good-meaning folks say that this was a good thing for me and perhaps even for my family as a whole. And while I appreciate their concern and support, that is so far from the truth. My divorce was extremely unfortunate for me, my children, and – in the long term – even my former wife. Let me be clear: God did not call for the divorce, he did not sanction the divorce, and he did not bless the divorce. But that does not mean that I am not blessed. It was not God’s plan that my family be broken. But it was his plan to use this awful situation to make me more reliant on Him, to open my eyes to sin in my life, and to put me in a position where I can speak into other’s lives. And furthermore, God has proven his love and compassion for me and my children by blessing us in so many ways since the divorce. I wish that my family had never been torn apart, most especially for the sake of my children, who will face many challenges because of it for the rest of their lives. But I long ago accepted the reality of my current situation. I admit that I still struggle with anger towards my former wife when I am denied access to my children or when I see pain in their eyes or hear it in their voices. But I have forgiven her as much as I can, and I continue to do so as the Spirit gives me ability. And I have moved on. In fact, I have found that, over the past year, I’ve noticed that I no longer recognize the woman that I married, and I no longer have any desire to be reunited to her. Many struggles remain because of this divorce, and I am fooling myself if I think that I am fully healed or that I have become the man that God wants me to be. But God continues to bless me. And he does so not because of my divorce, but because he loves me – despite my divorce.

If you have been through the pain of a divorce or are unwillingly going through one now, you need to know that there is hope. Little by little, Christ has met every one of my needs. And he will meet yours as well. Take this time in your life to be patient before the Lord. He – more than anyone else – understands your pain.

"

Comments

3 Responses to “God and My Divorce”

  1. godschic8910 on June 12th, 2011 9:25 am

    Thank you for this post. I am separated from my husband right now because of the verbal, emotional and mental abuse that continued to keep us fighting. I have been determined to press through this time because what prompted me to leave was as you described “for the sake of my children…when I see pain in their eyes or hear it in their voices.” I could not see the destruction that was going on when I was in the inside. I was praying and seeking GOD and being fought at every turn by my husband. I was accused of cheating on him the closer I stepped to GOD. Now that I am out, I miss the companionship. I miss the dreams that I planned. Then I began to realize just that. I was trying to fulfill my plan not GOD’s for my life. You have encouraged me. I did not want to be separated nor do I desire a divorce. I have to use this time as a tool. Time “to use this awful situation to make me more reliant on Him, to open my eyes to sin in my life, and to put me in a position where I can speak into other’s lives.” I feel this is the same for my family that I realize this part too: “…God has proven his love and compassion for me and my children by blessing us in so many ways.” Today I am so GRATEFUL! Thanks for sharing.

  2. Shawn on December 7th, 2011 2:06 am

    Wow, you sound like you’ve been walking with me. I am in the midst of a divorce, trying to work out a parenting plan with a woman I no longer recognize. How someone can lift their hands and praise God in church then continue in adultery all while blaming me for the divorce is madness. But you are so right, God is bringing me to a place of trusting in Him and growing in Him that I have never experienced before. Just have to make it one more day, His grace is sufficient for today…

  3. Alfredo on February 17th, 2012 12:05 pm

    Thank you for your uplifting insight. I (as I assume you were) was an unwilling participant in my divorce. No kids, but painful nonetheless. I’ve always thought/believed in what you posted above. Very comforting to hear that I am not alone in my thoughts and beliefs. Still struggle with it after 15 years of being divorced.

Leave a Reply