This past Saturday, I got my driver’s license renewed. I was at the BMV for less than a half hour. But it was the absolute best part of my weekend. Why? My son Emmitt went with me.

When my family was still intact, one of the things I most looked forward to each day was the welcome I’d get from my children when I arrived home from work. Each weeknight, I’d spend time playing with them before supper. Sometimes we’d go to the park, sometimes we’d take a walk up the street, and sometimes we’d just wrestle in the living room. While I no longer get to see the smiling faces of my children after work each day, I do still enjoy special times with them. But there’s one thing that I did every evening a year ago that I can virtually no longer do. And that is spend time with my children individually.

My daughter was born on my birthday. Courtesy of my former wife’s 25 hours of labor, my daughter and me share a bond that few do. And early in her life, her mother and me decided that I would spend time with Elnora alone as a special treat each year on her birthday. After my son was born, I extended that tradition to him, as well. And as they both grew, I decided that, as much as I could, I would pay attention to them as individuals. And so as often as I could, I took them aside one at a time and taught them, played with them, sang to them, and did any number of other things with them. And while I still spent time with my children together, I connected with them so much more as individuals.

A year later, I am now a (very reluctant) single dad. I still recognize the importance of my job as the father of my children, and I take great joy in spending what little time I have with them. But as you might expect, spending time with my children one at a time is now next to impossible. My daughter Elnora occasionally gets to spend some alone time with me while her brother naps. But prior to this past Saturday, I can’t remember the last time I got to spend one-on-one time with my son.

I was at my parents’ farm on Saturday. My license had expired and I was desperate to get it renewed. So though I was enjoying my visit, I asked my mom if she minded watching my children while I jaunted to the BMV. At the last second, on a whim, I asked my son if he wanted to go. And I was surprised to hear him say yes.

So off Emmitt and I went. We drove 10 miles through the countryside to Wilmington. We chatted the whole way there. We played goofy games while we stopped at the bank and the gas station. We were silly while we waited in line at the BMV. And Emmitt rode on my back at the grocery store where we got a cookie and some film for my dad. The trip was the highlight of my weekend.

I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to spend time alone with my son. Having an outgoing and very influential older sister means that my son rarely gets a chance to just take his time and be himself with me. And so I’m going to look for every opportunity to give him that chance. It is so very important.

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