There are many references in the Bible to individuals having certain truths hidden from them. Jesus’ disciples seem to have been particularly dense in that Jesus’ teachings about himself - clear as a bell in scripture - were muddy waters to them. I have myself experienced times when my mind was closed to certain scriptures. And later, when they were revealed to me, I wondered how I missed the meaning all along. Recently, I have experienced just such an awakening. But not in scripture - in music.

My tastes in music are very wide. I listen to everything from hair bands to big bands and from alternative rock to oldies. If there’s one thing in common between all songs I like, it’s that I like the music, not the necessarily the lyrics. In fact, I don’t even know the words of most songs I like. While there are, of course, some songs lyrics that I appreciate, over the course of my life, I have simply been deaf to the majority of song lyrics. While I would pick up words here and there, I rarely picked up enough of them to understand what the song was really about. I could listen to and really like a rock song for years only to find out at some point down the road that some of the lyrics were completely offensive. But the converse is also true. I have discovered recently that many songs that I formerly liked simply for the music really speak to me.

I don’t know what exactly has caused this shift in my comprehension. I do know that I have experienced more heartache over the past few months than I thought was possible. Perhaps that is why I have now noticed that so many songs are born of pain. And whether such songs are written by a metal band or a Christian band, the pain that comes across in the lyrics is the same. We have all faced betrayal in our lives. We have all been rejected at some point.

This evening on the way home from Canton, a minor miracle caused the CD player in my car to start working. The disc that was loaded when it started was one that I bought years ago: a Gary Chapman album from 1994. The disc is full of songs that I think sound great, but only a couple had I ever really heard. As I played a few of my favorites tonight, they didn’t just speak to me musically. For the first time in my life, they spoke to me lyrically. It is clear that this album was written during a time of great personal pain for Gary. And as I drove in the rain, I could relate to him. I could feel his pain. And I found myself agreeing with him in song.

One song in particular spoke to me more than the rest. It is entitled Heal Me.

I’m not sure how much more I can take
I can’t tell at what point I will break
But I can feel it coming on
I can feel it coming on
I’m so tired of planning my next fall
I might lose my head and lose it all
I can feel it coming on
I can feel it coming on

And I’m so sorry that I’m feeling so sorry for myself
I want to stop this

Chorus:
Life isn’t fair
I don’t deserve this
How did this start
When will it pass
I want a chance
Though I may falter
Here at this alter
I dare to ask you
To heal me, won’t you heal me, come and heal me, heal me

There is a hope I don’t deny
Deep in my heart I want to try
And I can feel it coming on
I can feel it coming on

And I’m so sorry that I’m feeling so sorry for myself
I want to stop this

(Repeat chorus)

Tonight, this song is my prayer. Thank you Gary Chapman. I pray that God answered your prayer. And I pray that he answers mine as well.

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