I have had something of a renewed interest in my work lately. I have worked as a web developer for Fahlgren for over 9 years now. Over that time span, the web has changed considerably. While my basic job has remained the same, the way in which I complete my tasks has changed often as new technologies have arisen and others have become popular. I remember being extremely excited the first time I created an administration tool from scratch (with text files and classic ASP, no less). Similarly, I was stoked for what seemed like years once I discovered the power and flexibility of cascading style sheets. And recently, I’ve become enamored with jQuery. The JavaScript framework makes tedious tasks fun. And for the first time in years, I plan to do some serious off-line reading about a web technology.

I work in one of the greatest locations in Columbus: the Easton Town Center. Even so, I rarely stick around after work to enjoy the sites, sounds and smells. But a mixer with a client tonight kept me around. So once I’d decided that I had felt awkward at Martini Park long enough, I headed over to Barnes and Noble. My goal? I planned to purchase a jQuery book. I had little money to spend, but I figured I could afford one book. After a short search, I came across the exact jQuery book I was looking for. Fast forward a half hour. I left the store with a book in hand. But not the jQuery book. A Curious George book for my children.

I am genuinely blessed to work with great folks at a great company. On more days than not, I really enjoy what I do. And because of that, I’ve gotten darn good at it. I sometimes wonder how it is that I get paid to do something that is actually fun. I tell you this not to brag about my job, but to explain to you just how important my family is to me. You see, no matter how much I enjoy something or how important it may seem at the time, it absolutely pales in comparison to my children.

I will buy the jQuery book some day, probably sooner than later. And with it I hope to improve my skill set and advance my career. But as important as that is, I have another, far more important job to do. And that is to be a father to my children.

Curious George trumps jQuery.

1. I will set a good example for my children.
2. I will show my children I love them every day (that I am allowed) through words and physical affection.
3. I will listen to my children and let them know I value what they say.
4. I will praise my children’s accomplishments and efforts towards accomplishments.
5. I have realistic expectations for my children. I will allow them to make their own mistakes and learn from those experiences.
6. I will avoid being too critical or focusing on my children’s shortcomings.
7. I will encourage my children to meet new challenges and have new experiences.
8. I will respect my children as individuals even if I don’t always agree with them.
9. I will enjoy my children and make time to share interests and appreciate one another.
10. I will love my children unconditionally. I will let them know they are lovable, worthwhile and valuable human beings.

I will do all these things because my children are worth it. They are my greatest gift and my greatest responsibility. And it is my calling to be a Godly daddy. Above all, I will remember that God loves my children even more than I do.

I got this e-mail from my friend Jeff on October 11, 1999, a time when I was desperately trying to find a new job. My struggle then pales in comparison to the trial I am facing now. But everything said in this letter still rings true today. 

Hey brother, you want to know what I am learning? That we need to look at each other as Christ looks at us. We are where we are at because of how we interpret ourselves. The time is now brother that we be strong in the Lord and start living his truths out. We are more that conquerors in Christ. We can do all things through Him who loves us. We are ambassadors of the kingdom of God. 

Just thought I would remind you of that, brother.

Brother in Christ,
Jeff Luken

Thank you, Jeff. You have been a good friend.

There are many documents on my computer that I would rather forget. They remind me of happier and simpler days. As I scanned through a list of files tonight, one in particular caught my eye. It was an e-mail response that I received from Rich Nathan, senior pastor of the Vineyard Church of Columbus, regarding my girlfriend (later to become my wife) on November 12, 1999. 

Dear Greg,

Thanks for your email regarding potential bible studies that you and your girlfriend could do together.  There are lots of wonderful study guides, indeed, you might consider beginning by just doing the back of the outlines.  These are bible studies written by my wife, Marlene, that correspond with the teaching of the prior Sunday.  

One wonderful book of Bible studies is a 3-year course through the bible called Search the Scriptures.  It is put out by InterVarsity Press.  I believe we have it available in our bookstore.  For years, Marlene and I would simply read a text together and then discuss it, taking notes on potential applications.  But having something like the back of our outlines or Search the Scriptures can suggest questions that we might not ask ourselves.  

We also used to read books together aloud and then talk about them.  You might want to read books on relationships, especially if your relationship is getting more serious.  Gary Smalley has a fine book on relationships called ”Making Love Last Forever.”  Larry Crabb has a nice book on men and women called “Men and Women - Enjoying the Difference.”  I think Neil Warren’s book called “Finding the Love of Your Life” is very helpful in making marriage choices.  

I hope this helps.  God bless you.

Warmly,
Rich Nathan

I honestly don’t remember what I did with such valuable advice. What I do know is that Jen and I didn’t read any of the books that Rich recommended. I can’t help but wonder how things might be different today if we’d gotten off on a better start like I’d intended.

Father, you know that I love my family. Please forgive me for having lost my way. And help me to teach others what you are teaching me now.